We are all faced with moments in our lives that challenge us, that leaves us frustrated, scared and broken - it can not be avoided. In the midst of the struggle, we can easily become consumed by those things that takes our attention away from God. We can easily lose faith in God. Putting God first in all circumstances, is sometimes easier said than done!
I have been an entrepreneur for the past 20 years. I went through many challenges - personally as well as in business. I made mistakes and I made bad decisions that cost me a lot – financially and emotionally.
My biggest downfall - I always had a serving heart and while serving others, I got caught up in the busyness of life.
In the process, I neglected my marriage, my family, my home and my business.
I have experienced feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, stress, and every negative emotion that you can think off. These feelings paralysed me from dealing with my challenges correctly and I continued to make mistakes. I remember some nights as my head hits the pillow, I wondered how I got there — the chaos, the mess, the feeling of failing, and I would lie there and strategized how to make tomorrow better. Strategizing how to keep my family happy. Strategizing how to keep my business going through this difficult time. Trying to justify in my head that this is just a season and it will pass.
Most of all, I neglected my relationship with God.
Today I know, that perhaps feeling tired, overwhelmed, and empty wasn’t such a bad thing. This brought me to my knees.
I realised that my planning, strategizing, intelligence and coping mechanisms meant absolutely nothing.
I realised that I had to stop.